1. Don't tell your kids how to raise their children. Avoid judging their parenting style and bite your tongue unless they ask for your advice. If you disagree with their decisions — and you will, sooner or later — keep quiet. And above all, never cut your kids down in front of their children. Your job is to be the grandparent, not the parent. Instead, respect their parenting efforts and look for reasons to complement them. Accept that the approaches to raising children vary from one generation to the next and your kids may do things differently from the way you did. Being a parent is hard work, and most parents are unsure of their parenting skills, whether they admit it or not. The parents of your grandchildren don't need you harping on their biggest fears and making them feel worse. The more they see you as criticizing, the more defensive they will feel and a rift can quickly form. The more they see you as supportive, the more open they will be to establishing a strong relationship.