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In My Own Words...

 I have spent years watching, listening and observing people.  I also have a photographic memory of everything I witness, see, hear, experience and do.


There are the "False Gossipers".  The False Gossiper gossips to others of things about other people that are not true.  They make up a false story to belittle others to make themselves look better to the ones they are gossiping to.  They therefore become a Hypocrite, a Big Noser, and sometimes an Abuser.
There are the "Hypocrites".  The Hypocrites claim to be one way, yet act completely the opposite way.  Such as a person who claims to go to church and acts as though they are a Christian yet everything they say or do goes completely against the commandments and the bible verses they claim to follow.   There are other ways to be a Hypocrite by claiming you are you way to some and represent yourself a different way to others.  Hypocrites can also be Dodgers and False Gossipers.
There is the "Family Dreamer".  The Family Dreamer wants to believe they belong to a family that they are no blood relation to.  
(What's yours is mine if mine is yours.)
There are the "Big Noser's".  The Big Nosers stick their noses into other's business that is not any of their own business.  They therefore also become a "False Gossiper".  Big Nosers can be False Gossipers, Abusers, and sometimes Hypocrites.
There is the "Pretend Adult".  The Pretend Adult claims to be an adult, but yet wants to play the child and run to mom & dad or even others with every little problem and does not handle things on their own like an adult should.  Pretend Adults can also be Hypocrites and Dodgers.
There are the "Dodgers".  The Dodgers do not face the truth and even lie about the truth.  Sometimes Dodgers twist the truth to become something else so as to make them selves look better than they really are.  The Dodger doesn't talk to people directly to their faces, face to face.  They sometimes use others to do the talking for them instead of them handling things on their own.  The Dodger then becomes a False Gossiper, a Hypocrite, and Pretend Adult.
There are the "Family Controllers".  The Family Controllers speak for other adults when those other adults have a mouth of their own and can speak for themselves.  Therefore, the Family Controller becomes a Big Noser, sometimes a False Gossiper and even an Abuser.  If those other adults are not allowed to speak for themselves, it then becomes emotional and mental abuse.
There are the Abusers.  The Abusers control other adult family members and tell them what they can or can't do on a daily basis.  The Abusers tell other adult family members what friends or other family members they are allowed to have contact with which is emotional and mental abuse.  The Abuser is also a Family Controller, a False Gossiper, and a Hypocrite, and in some cases a Big Noser.
It is my belief that all adults should be able to think, talk and do for themselves.  No adult should be told what to do and what not to do when it comes to their own feelings and thoughts.  If not, no wonder they stray away.

I believe that when people stray, they seek acceptance in others because they don't find it at home.  They are able to talk, think, and feel as they truly think & feel without being belittle or cut down for it.  (Experience watching my family, friends, and coworkers)   One has to be 100% completely happy, including emotionally and mentally to not stray.  A woman can keep a man from straying by giving him 100% emotional and mental freedom, including talking about thereof and not being belittled about their true feelings.  If one is not allowed to talk about something, that is emotional and mental abuse.
It is 100% completely wrong for someone to tell anyone that what they are wrong with how they think or feel emotionally or mentally if they are not hurting themselves physically.  That someone therefore become an Abuser.
Yes, there is more than one type of abuse.  There are many types of abuse.  There is Emotional Abuse.  There is Mental Abuse.   There is Verbal Abuse.  There is Sexual Abuse.  The list goes on.  DON'T BE AN ABUSER!!  IF YOU ARE AN ABUSER, STOP!!  IF YOU ARE A FAMILY CONTROLLER, STOP!!
It is also wrong to expect someone to think and feel the same way you do.  Sometimes people want to act as though they think and feel the same way so as not to have an altercation with the one doing the expecting.  They feel beaten before they even start, so might as well stop so as not to get beaten verbally, emotionally or mentally down any more.  They quit caring.
I, myself, have never been an abuser, but I, myself, have been the abused.  I have been on the receiving end of all the abuses, so I know what some of you people are going through.  I also know for fact what some of you are doing or what you have already done.
It is also 100% wrong to make someone choose one family member over another just to please you.  This is verbal, mental, and emotional abuse of that person you are making choose.

 If you are guilty of any or all of the above, so be it.   If you don't want to be guilty of any or all of it, I suggest you change your ways quickly.  Break the habit before the habit breaks you.
This blog is not intended to point fingers at any specific person, it is just generalized observation.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 14th, 2007 12:28 pm (UTC)
Inner Critics
“We tell ourselves so many lies and half-truths ... We listen and are duly impressed by these inner voices that turn into unseen judges that nag at us. We give each of these judges a seat of honor in our minds, all the while hating their guts and their never-ending supply of judgements ... We give the judges permission to accompany us on each journey of life, never daring to realize that we can park them, at least momentarily.” -- Eloise Ristad

“The Inner Critic makes each of us a child. As we become the child in our relationships, we lose our sense of self. We are no longer self-contained, self-respecting adults. We look to others for validation. Our self-worth is based upon their opinion of us. Thus, everyone around us becomes a mother or a father whose support and approval is desperately needed to protect us from the constant criticism of the Inner Critic.” -- Hal and Sidra Stone
Oct. 14th, 2007 12:34 pm (UTC)

"Every violation of truth is not only a sort of suicide in the liar, but is a stab at the health of human society." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

What level of honesty are you living now?

How honest are you with strangers, institutions & businesses, acquaintances, friends, family, spouse?

How honest are you with yourself?

"Our lives improve only when we take chances - and the first & most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves." -- Walter Anderson
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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