The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. - Winston Churchill, 1874-1965, English Politician and Author
The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. - Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1882-1945, 32nd President of the United States
Instruction does much, but encouragement does everything. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, German Poet/Dramatist/Novelist
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.
"Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it, and the bloom is gone." – Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Wayne Dyer: Self-development author and speaker
Many people are like garbage trucks.
They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.
As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.
Don't take it personally.
Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.
Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right.
Pray for the ones who don't.Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
Have a blessed, garbage-free day!
Here's the question...
"Sometimes, I just want to keep the peace, not rock the boat and just let things get better or blow over. I don't want to argue, fight and stay mad all the time like I was in my previous relationship. Is this a good thing?"
We can certainly understand the desire to keep the peace in any relationship, especially when a previous one was filled with conflict and anger.
Peace, no matter what the cost, can look pretty good after years of constant fighting.
While letting things "blow over" can seem like the answer to keeping a relationship peaceful (and in some cases, it can be), it might not always be the answer and here's why...
If you feel that you are never able to say what you are thinking or feeling without creating continuing conflict and you have to agree to keep the peace, there are usually consequences and they can happen in a couple of ways...
--Resentment is created and comes out against other people and in other situations that you didn't intend.
--Physical and emotional problems can manifest in your body.
Are we saying the you never let issues that come up just work themselves out or let them "blow over"?
Of course not.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself when considering whether to "rock the boat" or not...
1. How important is this issue to me?
2. Is there really a problem if the other person has another perspective on this than mine?
3. Is this any of my business or am I trying to control the situation for other people?
4. Am I insisting that my way is better or is there another way that might work as well?
5. What's the possible outcome of this situation one week from now, 5 years from now, 10 years from now if I don't address this issue and leave it alone?
6. If I don't address this issue, what physical or emotional problems might I create for myself?
7. How can I listen to the other person and understand his or her point of view?
Part of it has to do with your attitude and intentions.
If you are fearing an argument and you brace yourself for one, that's what you'll probably get.
If your heart is open, you're open to listening and you have the attitude of "let's make this work for both of us," you just might get cooperation or a solution that works for both of you.
What can you reverse in your relationship that can make a difference in your life?
No matter how close and connected you are with your partner, we're willing to bet there are some things you can reverse quickly and easily and make things much better, starting today.
Susie and Otto's web sites include--
http://www.PassionateHeart.com, http://www.RelationshipGold.com, http://www.RedHotLoveRelationships.com, http://www.collinspartners.com, http://www.HowToHealYourBrokenHeart.com , http://www.StayorGo.com,
http://www.RelationshipAttractorFactor.c
http://www.Communication-Magic.com, http://www.PersonalGrowthPlanet.com, http://www.12ProvenSecrets.com,
http://www.PerfectPartnerNow.com, http://www.Think-Right-Now.com
The Human Voice
*****
Drink deeply of the Life that presents itself to you. Let no missed opportunity ever haunt you.
Let no regrets ever steal your sleep at night.
Trust in the magnificence of the mysterious path upon which you find yourself, and move forward courageously into the Great Unknown.
Accept risk as a normal part of living.
View risk as a part of the process of exploring your world.
Make note of the lessons you learn
with each chance you take and move on.
Forget about the consequences of taking chances.
Risk opens you to only a temporary change in direction
that can set you straight for your next success.
If you're brave enough to risk,
to temporarily live outside of your comfort zone,
for a short period of time, you're big enough to win.
Take awareness to new levels.
"Most of us are in touch with our intuition whether we know it or not, but we're usually in the habit of doubting or contradicting it so automatically that we don't even know it has spoken." -- Shakti Gawain
There is a split in you that is very clear.
There is part of you that knows what you should do, and a part of you that does what it feels like doing.
Don't let passion drive you, let reason hold the reins.
Once you understand these opposing forces warring within you, with this knowledge of the truth: you no longer remain a slave.
A clear understanding of this will make you the master of your life.
Resistance is your thoughts transformed into feelings.
Change the thoughts that create the resistance, and there is no more resistance.
Are you controlled by your thoughts or are you controlling your thoughts?
If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self.
If you are ruled by your mind you are a king, if by your body, a slave.
What passes over your lips each day?
Are your words typically negative, critical, gossiping, deceptive, illusory, justifying, blaming, manipulative and argumentative?
The throat is our center of expression.
"Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs." -- Pearl Strachan Hurd
"The wise weigh their words on a scale with gold." -- Bible
We can't escape problems and negativity.
For health, we must work through what we seek to avoid.
"The Lord is a good psychologist: he knows the way our minds run. Turmoil can be the Lord's way of tapping us on the shoulder and saying, 'Don't forget me.'" -- Eknath Easwaran
Each of us has characteristics we define as ‘good’ and those we define as ‘bad.’ The parts of ourselves that we continually reject want to be acknowledged and loved. Until we honour these aspects, they will continue to assert themselves. They will do whatever they can to get our attention.
What aspects of yourself do you reject?
Take a few moments to open to the parts of yourself that you do not love. See each one honestly for what it is. Explore the wounds and the motives that gave rise to its condition. Love a wounded part of yourself and it will heal.
"...self-contempt never inspires lasting change." -- Jane R. Hirschmann and Carol H. Munter
"The first step toward change is acceptance. Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do. Change is not something you do, it's something you allow." -- Will Garcia
“The maxim ‘Nothing but perfection’ may be spelled ‘Paralysis.’” -- Winston Churchill
“After enough mirror gazing, we all develop our ‘cosmic sense of humor.’ We no longer try to be perfect, or try to get all our work done in time. We become content with whatever life brings. Just to deal with what comes up without crucifying ourselves or others is enough of a challenge.” -- Paul Ferrini
“Good enough never is.” -- Debbi Fields
Book Review: The Giving Zone: How to Use the Power of Giving to Make Your Professional and Personal Dreams Come True – By Bruce Painter
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When many people think of giving, they think of gifts and a commercialized Christmas season. Yet giving happens in every aspect of life, and it includes intangible things such as time and attention. Many people over-give to the point of hurting themselves and others. People also often give the wrong thing. This happens very often in relationships where one person gives someone something that isn't wanted.
Bruce Painter, author of "The Giving Zone," says, "If you can give effectively and intelligently, it is the secret to getting what you want; more importantly, it's the secret to giving others what they want. If you can give others what they want, you're going to get what you want."
Bruce found himself in a situation where he gave everything he had away and had nothing left. He was exhausted, in emotional pain, and overspent. Having nothing left, he reacted by becoming selfish. The pain and trauma from being selfish was far worse. Because of his painful experiences, he developed a plan to help others learn the basics of giving intelligently.
The first key is to understand when you are giving intelligently. This includes choosing who you are going to give to and how much you are going to give. Giving happens in relationships because it is central to creating relationships. While you can give to anyone, the one person you can't afford not to give to is yourself. This involves the ability to receive. Many people have great difficulty in allowing others to give to them. Most people know about sacrificial giving -- usually time, attention, or money. Intelligent giving involves giving because you want to give, listening, and loving.
The second key of giving is to recognize the signs of unintelligent giving. Every parent knows that their kids will ask for things that aren't good for them. The core problem is that many parents have great difficulty in saying no. Beyond the immediate harm of over- giving, there is longer-term harm to watch out for. This includes dependency that over- giving creates. It also includes failure in work and marriage because the child grows up with a mindset of "give me, give me" instead of a mindset of giving to others.
Here are some examples:
* Giving too much to children can actually cause them to be unprepared for life. If a mother always cooks every meal for her children, even in a spirit of generous giving, they will never learn the basics of choosing and preparing their own food. You might think this is not so serious if an adult has to live off of restaurants and microwave dinners, but think if this same thing is done with money. Giving money without a need to earn creates disastrous irresponsibility. The child, now a young adult, is likely to not understand why it is so hard for them to pay their bills and get out of debt.
* Giving the wrong thing in a relationship due to lack of communication often has the opposite effect that was intended. The receiver, instead of feeling gratitude, will feel resentment. Some gifts are actually 'white elephants'. These rare creatures are hugely expensive to take care of, yet because of their rarity and spiritual significance, are not allowed to be put to work. This is a gift that hurts the receiver.
How to Make Intelligent Giving Decisions:
* The first step to give intelligently, correctly, joyfully, and truthfully is to communicate. Communicate openly at work and at home. This means talking and listening.
* Be willing to ask people what they want and be willing to tell others what you want. Very few people are willing to do that.
* When you give to people, check with them and see if it is really what they want. Their situation might change, and you don't want to force it.
The Character of a Good Giver:
* Be accountable rather than blaming. The most successful people are accountable. They take responsibility for what they are doing. Leaders will not point fingers at someone else, but will look at themselves when things are not going well and try to see how they contributed to the problem. Likewise, they look for how they can contribute to a solution.
Types of Giving:
* Insincere or selfish giving. This is giving because you want to get something back.
* Giving out of obligation is the type of giving that is not done from the heart. It is known as the 'guilt trip.' There is no pleasure in it, and the giver feels coerced into it.
* Mechanical giving has no real life or spirit in it. Ritual tithing can turn into this.
* The ultimate type of giving is given freely. It is a joy and a pleasure. It is the type of giving when you hit The Giving Zone. It is giving intelligently, giving people what they want, and allowing them to give back.
Empowering others is a very important part of giving. Teach others to give. This type of giving feeds the community. It can make a difference in the lives of everyone a person touches. Teaching others to give will have a huge impact and change the world. Teaching children to be givers feeds the future.
Children need to learn the joy of giving from a very young age. Give them the opportunity to give to others, and they will feel proud about their ability to give while learning responsibility.
Learn the keys to giving and get into The Giving Zone. Be a proactive and intelligent giver. Develop values and principles to reach your full potential, and have a joy filled successful life.
* Listen to Bruce Painter being interviewed about The Giving Zone *
Dr. Proactive, Randy Gilbert, enjoys producing the "Inside Success Show." He presents his insightful interview with Bruce Painter (LivingInTheGivingZone.com), based upon the wisdom and techniques from his book. Hear the entire inspirational interview free or read the transcript: http://www.insidesuccessradio.com/Guests/B
but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from
the oven.
It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even
used for cleaning out dirty ears.
From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy
chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming
oven.
When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.
And when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it around her arms.
Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood
stove.
Chips and kindling wood was brought into the kitchen in that apron.
From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had
been shelled, it carried out the hulls.
In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from
the trees.
When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much
furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.
When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her
apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner
It will be a long time before someone invents something that will
replaces that "old-time apron" that served so many purposes.
morals. For example, it is against human law to physically attack
another person. The man who does so, may or may not be caught
and punished by the court, but he is always punished on the spot by
him-self, whether aware of it or not. We may escape human laws, but
never the laws of our own nature."
That question is similar to one that a woman asked us recently and not only were we intrigued by her question but her situation seemed similar to the challenges that many people face in their relationships.
Because of this, we decided to share our answer to this question with all of you.
First of all, when it comes to the question like "what do you do if you no longer desire your partner or your desire seems to have faded?" one thing is for sure... this is the kind of question that no one likes to admit, let alone deal with.
This is especially true if you have been with your partner for many years, truly love him or her and have no intention of leaving your relationship.
What we have discovered is that when physical intimacy is lacking or non-existent in a marriage or long-lasting relationship, there can be a lot of unspoken thoughts, feelings and beliefs that build walls instead of create connection.
The relationship usually limps along and one or both people find that they have a desire for something more somewhere inside themselves.
So what's going on when there's love between two people but the desire just isn't there any longer? How does this happen?
Even if you are in a great, close, connected relationship, there are times when desire seems to fade a little so it's a good question for any couple to ask.
Of course there's not one simple answer to this question but here are a few ideas...
--The two people were once "in sync" with one another but they now have different interests, desires, goals for their lives and/or for their relationship.
--They have allowed the busyness of life--raising kids, career challenges, other responsibilities--to pull them apart and they haven't made their relationship a priority or time for it.
--The two people take each other and their love for granted.
--Although the two people say they love each other, one person may have lost respect for the other.
--There may be trust issues between them and they may be holding on to old hurts that have not been forgiven.
--There may be physical or mental illness.
The list could go on and on but you get the idea...
Here are a few things we recommend if you are experiencing a disconnection of this kind and you don't want to end your relationship but want to rekindle the love and desire that used to be there...
1. First, look within yourself for the reasons that you have been unwilling until now to look at or talk about that are keeping you from connecting in all ways with your partner. If you're stuck, re-read our above list.
2. If you have felt desire in the past for your partner, ask yourself what was going on when you did have this type of connection. How were you treating each other then that is different from how you are interacting with one another now?
What thoughts, feelings and beliefs did you have about your partner and about your relationship when you did desire each other? Decide if these thoughts, feelings and
beliefs are ones that you can and want to emphasize more or if you need to adopt different ones that fit who you both are today.
Remember what Henry David Thoreau said about change... "Things do not change; we change." If this is true, then we are in control of what is changing and we can make a difference in what happens in our relationships.
3. What kind of "stories" are you telling yourself about what's going on and why you haven't truly addressed this problem before now. Remember, your thoughts and "stories" are completely your perception and may have nothing to do with your partner's perception of what is real for him or her.
4. Are you withholding something that needs to be said for fear of "hurting the other's feelings"?
In our experience, withholding thoughts and feelings that are persistently present builds walls and desire has no chance to grow. Even if what you might reveal hurts the other person, you can say it with love and with the intention of wanting your relationship to be better, closer and more alive.
5. Be willing to risk jumping out our your habitual ways of doing things and trying something new. It might be reading material together that will give you some new ideas about how to rev up your desire. It might be looking at your beloved with "new" eyes. It might be being honest. It might mean working with a coach or therapist to help you work through your challenges.
Whatever risk is called for, if you don't have the passion and intimacy that you want, you are faced with the choice of either risking doing something differently or living your life with less love and passion than you want.
Each of us has a choice in every moment how we are going to live our lives.
That choice that comes from fear is what keeps you from truly experiencing life and love as deeply as possible.
Our hope is that you choose love more of the time.
How often do you do something similar to this in your relationships?
How often do you create constriction and restriction in your life and relationships by your negative thoughts, assumptions, "stories" you tell yourself about someone else's motivations, criticism, judgments and any number of other ways?
What if we rephrase the question to ask...
How often do you create constriction within yourself that keeps the love, passion and connection that we say we want at a distance?
The reality is that we create constriction and restriction with ourselves and others much more than we realize.
Imagine what our lives and relationships would be like if we gave ourselves permission to relax judgments of ourselves and others, as well as other things that keep us separated from others.
If there's one idea that we've learned and re-learned is that we and we alone are responsible for our own happiness, pain, challenges and creating restriction in our relationships.
If this is true (and we're sure that it is), we can always make a different choice in every single moment .
That different choice can mean relaxing our strangle- hold on ourselves, a situation or another person by using some or all of these ideas:
1. Look at "what is" instead of wishing something, someone or some situation is different. So often people try to "force" another person to think like they think or act in a certain way. This usually causes a great deal of restriction in the relationship and one or both people can shut themselves off emotionally because of it.
Looking at "what is" can help us to see the situation or relationship as it really is and soften or relax expectations.
2. Open to your emotional truth--your own as well as to another person's truth. There might be some feelings that you've been pushing down and not willing to face. Although this can seem like an oxymoron at the time, taking a look at what is real for you and allowing the other person to tell what is real for him or her can certainly lead to a softening and more relaxation between the two of you.
3. Choose to focus on what you want rather than what is missing. This may sound contradictory to #1 but it really isn't. If you are feeling restriction in a relationship and you just can't seem to connect with that person, begin to notice connections with other people in your life.
These connections can be a smile, making eye contact, or even a kind word with someone you meet. Notice what feels good about these connections with others and then start making more connections so that you begin to focus on what you want more of rather than what you don't want.
So this week, we invite you to look at how and with whom you feel constriction in your life. We all do from time to time because unfortunately (or fortunately) that constriction often spurs us to grow into being better people, healing our pasts, and creating more love in our lives.
We invite you to choose not stay stuck in restriction but learn and grow from it.
When you relax into love your relationships and life will be much more connected than when you don't.
There are the "False Gossipers". The False Gossiper gossips to others of things about other people that are not true. They make up a false story to belittle others to make themselves look better to the ones they are gossiping to. They therefore become a Hypocrite, a Big Noser, and sometimes an Abuser.
There are the "Hypocrites". The Hypocrites claim to be one way, yet act completely the opposite way. Such as a person who claims to go to church and acts as though they are a Christian yet everything they say or do goes completely against the commandments and the bible verses they claim to follow. There are other ways to be a Hypocrite by claiming you are you way to some and represent yourself a different way to others. Hypocrites can also be Dodgers and False Gossipers.
There is the "Family Dreamer". The Family Dreamer wants to believe they belong to a family that they are no blood relation to. (What's yours is mine if mine is yours.)
There are the "Big Noser's". The Big Nosers stick their noses into other's business that is not any of their own business. They therefore also become a "False Gossiper". Big Nosers can be False Gossipers, Abusers, and sometimes Hypocrites.
There is the "Pretend Adult". The Pretend Adult claims to be an adult, but yet wants to play the child and run to mom & dad or even others with every little problem and does not handle things on their own like an adult should. Pretend Adults can also be Hypocrites and Dodgers.
There are the "Dodgers". The Dodgers do not face the truth and even lie about the truth. Sometimes Dodgers twist the truth to become something else so as to make them selves look better than they really are. The Dodger doesn't talk to people directly to their faces, face to face. They sometimes use others to do the talking for them instead of them handling things on their own. The Dodger then becomes a False Gossiper, a Hypocrite, and Pretend Adult.
There are the "Family Controllers". The Family Controllers speak for other adults when those other adults have a mouth of their own and can speak for themselves. Therefore, the Family Controller becomes a Big Noser, sometimes a False Gossiper and even an Abuser. If those other adults are not allowed to speak for themselves, it then becomes emotional and mental abuse.
There are the Abusers. The Abusers control other adult family members and tell them what they can or can't do on a daily basis. The Abusers tell other adult family members what friends or other family members they are allowed to have contact with which is emotional and mental abuse. The Abuser is also a Family Controller, a False Gossiper, and a Hypocrite, and in some cases a Big Noser.
It is my belief that all adults should be able to think, talk and do for themselves. No adult should be told what to do and what not to do when it comes to their own feelings and thoughts. If not, no wonder they stray away.
I believe that when people stray, they seek acceptance in others because they don't find it at home. They are able to talk, think, and feel as they truly think & feel without being belittle or cut down for it. (Experience watching my family, friends, and coworkers) One has to be 100% completely happy, including emotionally and mentally to not stray. A woman can keep a man from straying by giving him 100% emotional and mental freedom, including talking about thereof and not being belittled about their true feelings. If one is not allowed to talk about something, that is emotional and mental abuse.
It is 100% completely wrong for someone to tell anyone that what they are wrong with how they think or feel emotionally or mentally if they are not hurting themselves physically. That someone therefore become an Abuser.
Yes, there is more than one type of abuse. There are many types of abuse. There is Emotional Abuse. There is Mental Abuse. There is Verbal Abuse. There is Sexual Abuse. The list goes on. DON'T BE AN ABUSER!! IF YOU ARE AN ABUSER, STOP!! IF YOU ARE A FAMILY CONTROLLER, STOP!!
It is also wrong to expect someone to think and feel the same way you do. Sometimes people want to act as though they think and feel the same way so as not to have an altercation with the one doing the expecting. They feel beaten before they even start, so might as well stop so as not to get beaten verbally, emotionally or mentally down any more. They quit caring.
I, myself, have never been an abuser, but I, myself, have been the abused. I have been on the receiving end of all the abuses, so I know what some of you people are going through. I also know for fact what some of you are doing or what you have already done.
It is also 100% wrong to make someone choose one family member over another just to please you. This is verbal, mental, and emotional abuse of that person you are making choose.
If you are guilty of any or all of the above, so be it. If you don't want to be guilty of any or all of it, I suggest you change your ways quickly. Break the habit before the habit breaks you.
This blog is not intended to point fingers at any specific person, it is just generalized observation.
We never have enough information to enable us to fully understand the truth of the reality around us. And there is never only one correct perspective about anything.
Knowing this helps me let go of my tendency to label things as good or bad. I suffer least when I can accept reality just as it is. And I benefit most when I open my heart and mind in appreciation.
“If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now.” -- Marcus Aurelius
We know the power of thoughts to create. Consider, then, the impact of our judgments. When we judge someone critically, those judgments have the power to affect the one being judged, if they are open to our perceptions. This is the case even when we don’t say what we’re thinking.
For example, if I judge someone to be fat, and that individual perceives him or herself to be fat and is sensitive to the opinions of others, my thoughts will reinforce their ‘fat’ experience.
Being aware of the impact of our judgments helps us let go of our tendency to judge.
“There are three kinds of violence: one, through our deeds; two, through our words; and three, through our thoughts. …The root of all violence is in the world of thoughts, and that is why training the mind is so important.” -- Eknath Easwaran
"Every violation of truth is not only a sort of suicide in the liar, but is a stab at the health of human society." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
What level of honesty are you living now?
How honest are you with strangers, institutions and businesses, acquaintances, friends, family, spouse?
How honest are you with yourself?
"Our lives improve only when we take chances - and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves." -- Walter Anderson
"Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again." -- Franklin P. Jones
There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy. And your only reward is that it's easy. You cannot do wrong without suffering wrong.
Morality may consist solely of the courage of making a choice. Wickedness is always easier than virtue,
for it takes a short cut to everything. But over time you learn, you can't make wrong work.
Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results.
You can never lose anything that really belongs to you, and you can't keep that which belongs to someone else.
Sooner or later, everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences.
Creativity and intuition are meaningless unless you put the ideas that arise into action.
We must make some effort to do things differently or to do different things, or our lives remain the same.
"People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives." -- J. Michael Straczynski
We get clues about our unconscious programming if we watch our reactions, responses, feelings and thoughts about other people and events. Ask yourself: How do I judge or stereotype people? What pushes my buttons? What makes me angry or fearful or sad?
The outer incidents that trigger these reactions in me simply MIRROR my own nature. If I didn't have beliefs around the issues that upset me, where would my reactions come from? If I didn't have some internal reference, I wouldn't react at all.
When outer events spark a reaction, we need to look inside to explore what’s going on.
"We discover in ourselves what others hide from us and we recognize in others what we hide from ourselves." -- Vauvenargues
